You will believe that a cat can fly (and land on his paws)!
10.31.2008
10.30.2008
Con Caracter y Enjundia
We were losing a soccer game once by three goals. It wasn't any soccer game, though. It was the tournament final when I was in college. The guy who was goalkeeping got injured in the first half, so I stepped up to the challenge. I got scored on all three times... dumb mistakes on my part.
With only 15 minutes to go before the end of the game, we scored a goal. Play resumed in a hurry because we could feel the momentum swing in our favor. Little by little, we settled back on defense and put together a surprise counter-strike to score another goal. It was David against Goliath, that game. The other team were a group of Brazilian kids who were in college on soccer and tennis scholarships. Their reflexes were superb.
The only thing we had going for our team was our character. We had been playing together at school and on weekends for the previous four years. We were all graduating seniors, and we were not going down in that last game. With five minutes to go, I called on the team to play "Con caracter y enjundia!" (with character and vitality!), like we had always played. With one minute to go, the game was tied. We went to overtime.
It was a battle back and forth in overtime, and we were all tired. I was tired of launching myself at the feet of the strikers who managed to penetrate our defense. I was truly playing sweeper, keeper, defense, cheerleader... And I kept a straight face though I was shitting my shorts from fear. I was afraid to mess up one more time, enough to screw the whole thing. With one minute left, the winning goal was scored.
I remember very clearly running to the middle of the field and lying down on the center circle, wanting to cry. One by one, my teammates came over and piled on top of me. We had just one. It was one more game, and it was our last game. Other games came, but that one I remember clearly. We played with a lot of character, and a little more vitality. That joy of living has come mostly from soccer in my life. Very few things match it.
With only 15 minutes to go before the end of the game, we scored a goal. Play resumed in a hurry because we could feel the momentum swing in our favor. Little by little, we settled back on defense and put together a surprise counter-strike to score another goal. It was David against Goliath, that game. The other team were a group of Brazilian kids who were in college on soccer and tennis scholarships. Their reflexes were superb.
The only thing we had going for our team was our character. We had been playing together at school and on weekends for the previous four years. We were all graduating seniors, and we were not going down in that last game. With five minutes to go, I called on the team to play "Con caracter y enjundia!" (with character and vitality!), like we had always played. With one minute to go, the game was tied. We went to overtime.
It was a battle back and forth in overtime, and we were all tired. I was tired of launching myself at the feet of the strikers who managed to penetrate our defense. I was truly playing sweeper, keeper, defense, cheerleader... And I kept a straight face though I was shitting my shorts from fear. I was afraid to mess up one more time, enough to screw the whole thing. With one minute left, the winning goal was scored.
I remember very clearly running to the middle of the field and lying down on the center circle, wanting to cry. One by one, my teammates came over and piled on top of me. We had just one. It was one more game, and it was our last game. Other games came, but that one I remember clearly. We played with a lot of character, and a little more vitality. That joy of living has come mostly from soccer in my life. Very few things match it.
10.28.2008
True Story From the Lab: Cup Full of...
So a man came over to the lab from his doctor's office. He and his wife had been trying to get pregnant but had been unsuccessful. The doctor ordered a semen analysis to see if the problem was in the man's physiology. For those of you who don't know, collection of the semen analysis is done by the man through "self stimulation". Before the collection, however, he must abstain from sexual "relief" for three consecutive days before the collection. As soon as possible after the collection, within an hour, actually, the sample must be hand-delivered to the lab. (Most of the time, it's the wives that deliver the sample... The men are too ashamed to do it.)
Surprisingly, the man brought the sample to the lab three days after being given the sample cup and instructions (written and verbal). That's when the women in the collection room called me. "You've got to see this," one of them said with a lot of confusion in her voice.
"What is it?"
"I... I can't explain it. You HAVE to see it." So I went to see it.
When I took the cup out of the bag, it seemed a little heavy. When I opened the cup, I almost dropped it. It was filled to the brim with semen. TO. THE. BRIM. He never bothered to read the instructions and didn't really listen to them being told to him. So he thought he was supposed to bring in as much as he could. When he was told to read us the instructions given to him, the blood ran out of his face.
"You mean... You mean I have to hold off on sex for another 3 days?" he asked.
And that's probably why he can't, and shouldn't, bear children.
Surprisingly, the man brought the sample to the lab three days after being given the sample cup and instructions (written and verbal). That's when the women in the collection room called me. "You've got to see this," one of them said with a lot of confusion in her voice.
"What is it?"
"I... I can't explain it. You HAVE to see it." So I went to see it.
When I took the cup out of the bag, it seemed a little heavy. When I opened the cup, I almost dropped it. It was filled to the brim with semen. TO. THE. BRIM. He never bothered to read the instructions and didn't really listen to them being told to him. So he thought he was supposed to bring in as much as he could. When he was told to read us the instructions given to him, the blood ran out of his face.
"You mean... You mean I have to hold off on sex for another 3 days?" he asked.
And that's probably why he can't, and shouldn't, bear children.
10.27.2008
The End of an Era
Effective immediately, I have resigned my part-time job at the Waynesboro Hospital as a Medical Technologist (Lab Tech). It was a job that I held part-time for over a year and full-time for seven years before that. It was my first professional job. And it was my life for a long time... Too long. It is the end of an era, but it was time to move on.
Now, on to bigger and, hopefully, better things.
Now, on to bigger and, hopefully, better things.
Why The Elections Matter... And Why They Don't
According to the US Constitution, Congress makes the laws, the President enforces them, and the Supreme Court says whether the laws are in agreement with the US Constitution. The President can recommend legislature to Congress during the State of the Union, and he/she can veto a bill to keep it from becoming law. Congress can override the veto, and they can also impeach and remove the President (and VP, and all civil Officers). The weights and balances operates very well.
The national election matters because you will get to elect members of Congress and the President, both of whom have some direct influence on your life. Congress determines who and what to tax, while the President is charged with taxing. You know all of those "Bush Tax Cuts"? They weren't his at all. He suggested them, and Congress approved. Without the consent of Congress, there wouldn't have been any "Bush Tax Cuts". (I wonder how many people have read the actual text?)
You'd be surprised to read the names of those who approved. I was surprised to see the names of those who didn't. I was even more surprised to read that the wealthy were not the original intent. Anyway...
Elections, the national ones, don't matter because most of the things in life that you have were not given to you by a tax cut or government stimulus package. Sure, I got through college because of loans guaranteed by the government, but I would like to believe that I would still have gotten through college without government assistance. I might have had to work harder and be enrolled longer, but that's okay.
Most of the stuff that affects your daily lives, when it comes to the government, comes from local and state legislation. "Roe versus Wade"? Yes, it was decided at the Supreme Court, but the whole thing got started in Dallas County, Texas. See, "Wade" was Henry Wade, Dallas County District Attorney.
Gas prices? Yeah, there is some Federal gas tax that goes toward the price, but States place a tax on gasoline and other fuels as well. They also have the power to allow or deny oil companies access to oil reserves off their shores or on their land. And State Attorneys are the ones that go hunting for price-gougers. (Why is Alaska's gas tax so low? They don't have that many roads to maintain with it, and a lot of oil comes from them as well.)
In Baltimore, there is a new proposition up before the people on November 4 regarding slots.If passed, slot machines and casinos would be legal in Maryland. The Governor has sold this proposition with a promise that up to $700 million would come in from slots, and that proceeds would go toward schools. Now, who isn't for schools? What was not mentioned was that less than half of the money goes to schools, and that is only when the slots are fully implemented. The rest of it goes to a gambling addiction rehab fund, 1/3 will go to the operators of the slots, horse racing venues and breeders will get about 10%, local governments about 5%... And the money keeps one coming (or going).
So, while you may pay tons of attention to the guy that's getting a tingling in his leg when one of the Presidential Candidates speaks, the real issues are local. The real change will come from your town or your state. And the most important election might very well be your school board election. After all, they influence the future in a very significant and real way.
Now, get out to vote!
The national election matters because you will get to elect members of Congress and the President, both of whom have some direct influence on your life. Congress determines who and what to tax, while the President is charged with taxing. You know all of those "Bush Tax Cuts"? They weren't his at all. He suggested them, and Congress approved. Without the consent of Congress, there wouldn't have been any "Bush Tax Cuts". (I wonder how many people have read the actual text?)
You'd be surprised to read the names of those who approved. I was surprised to see the names of those who didn't. I was even more surprised to read that the wealthy were not the original intent. Anyway...
Elections, the national ones, don't matter because most of the things in life that you have were not given to you by a tax cut or government stimulus package. Sure, I got through college because of loans guaranteed by the government, but I would like to believe that I would still have gotten through college without government assistance. I might have had to work harder and be enrolled longer, but that's okay.
Most of the stuff that affects your daily lives, when it comes to the government, comes from local and state legislation. "Roe versus Wade"? Yes, it was decided at the Supreme Court, but the whole thing got started in Dallas County, Texas. See, "Wade" was Henry Wade, Dallas County District Attorney.
Gas prices? Yeah, there is some Federal gas tax that goes toward the price, but States place a tax on gasoline and other fuels as well. They also have the power to allow or deny oil companies access to oil reserves off their shores or on their land. And State Attorneys are the ones that go hunting for price-gougers. (Why is Alaska's gas tax so low? They don't have that many roads to maintain with it, and a lot of oil comes from them as well.)
In Baltimore, there is a new proposition up before the people on November 4 regarding slots.If passed, slot machines and casinos would be legal in Maryland. The Governor has sold this proposition with a promise that up to $700 million would come in from slots, and that proceeds would go toward schools. Now, who isn't for schools? What was not mentioned was that less than half of the money goes to schools, and that is only when the slots are fully implemented. The rest of it goes to a gambling addiction rehab fund, 1/3 will go to the operators of the slots, horse racing venues and breeders will get about 10%, local governments about 5%... And the money keeps one coming (or going).
So, while you may pay tons of attention to the guy that's getting a tingling in his leg when one of the Presidential Candidates speaks, the real issues are local. The real change will come from your town or your state. And the most important election might very well be your school board election. After all, they influence the future in a very significant and real way.
Now, get out to vote!
10.26.2008
In The Rain
10.24.2008
10.21.2008
Let The Experts Sort it Out
I heard an advertisement for "Frontline" on PBS. It talked about Global Warming, and how we are all doomed if something is not done ASAP. What that something that we need to do is, however, is a completely different thing. And the reason why the answer is so elusive is because the cause is not well-defined. Did we humans do it? Is it a solar cycle thing? As it an Earth cycle thing? What?!
Look, I have no doubt that all the crap that we're launching into the atmosphere has something to do with it. The smog I see hanging over the cities, especially in the Wintertime, CANNOT possibly be any good. Anyone with half a brain tied behind their back (just to make it fair) would know that smog blocks the radiation of infrared light out into space. It's kind of like a blanket that keeps us warmer. As the blanket grows over the planet, we're going to get warmer. And that can't be good for the penguins or for us.
At the same time, evidence has shown that the sun varies in the amount of radiation it shoots at us. Also, natural sources of blanketing gases, like volcanoes, have erupted and put up thousands more particulate pollutants that we ever will. Furthermore, some of these "blankets" actually insulate the Earth from the sun's energy, thus cooling us. And then there is the inexplicable times in the past where we have been warmer, then cooler, then warmer, then cooler, and then now.
In the bigger picture, keeping the planet fresh and clean is not a political issue. Let me explain... Conservatives believe that government should let businesses be businesses. If the consumer doesn't like the product, then the business alone should change or be driven out of business. As a result, they don't like treaties that tell the US businessmen and women what to do, while letting other businesses (in China and India) do whatever they want. So you find conservatives wanting to leave the whole global warming thing sort itself out.
On the other hand, Liberals believe that the government is the end-all, be-all, of all things. (Some may even think the State is God, but that's for a later post.) So they want government regulations that control how much a groups (businesses, countries) and individuals (you and me) can pollute. They want government to look over your shoulder and make sure everything's kosher (no pun intended).
Yet we all want the same thing. We all want clean air, clean water, green mountains, blue oceans, and biodiversity in the forest next door. It's how we all want to get there. Unfortunately, only one side gets the most attention in the whole debate, and not all the experts are on that side. There has been a movie about the end of the world because of global warming, AND there have been movies about a one-world government that controls all of our activities. Which is the better future, really?
All of these things are worth pondering...
Look, I have no doubt that all the crap that we're launching into the atmosphere has something to do with it. The smog I see hanging over the cities, especially in the Wintertime, CANNOT possibly be any good. Anyone with half a brain tied behind their back (just to make it fair) would know that smog blocks the radiation of infrared light out into space. It's kind of like a blanket that keeps us warmer. As the blanket grows over the planet, we're going to get warmer. And that can't be good for the penguins or for us.
At the same time, evidence has shown that the sun varies in the amount of radiation it shoots at us. Also, natural sources of blanketing gases, like volcanoes, have erupted and put up thousands more particulate pollutants that we ever will. Furthermore, some of these "blankets" actually insulate the Earth from the sun's energy, thus cooling us. And then there is the inexplicable times in the past where we have been warmer, then cooler, then warmer, then cooler, and then now.
In the bigger picture, keeping the planet fresh and clean is not a political issue. Let me explain... Conservatives believe that government should let businesses be businesses. If the consumer doesn't like the product, then the business alone should change or be driven out of business. As a result, they don't like treaties that tell the US businessmen and women what to do, while letting other businesses (in China and India) do whatever they want. So you find conservatives wanting to leave the whole global warming thing sort itself out.
On the other hand, Liberals believe that the government is the end-all, be-all, of all things. (Some may even think the State is God, but that's for a later post.) So they want government regulations that control how much a groups (businesses, countries) and individuals (you and me) can pollute. They want government to look over your shoulder and make sure everything's kosher (no pun intended).
Yet we all want the same thing. We all want clean air, clean water, green mountains, blue oceans, and biodiversity in the forest next door. It's how we all want to get there. Unfortunately, only one side gets the most attention in the whole debate, and not all the experts are on that side. There has been a movie about the end of the world because of global warming, AND there have been movies about a one-world government that controls all of our activities. Which is the better future, really?
All of these things are worth pondering...
10.15.2008
It Is The Path To The Dark Side, You Know?
Yet another thing that I am trying to fix about me is my continuing anxiety over the state of the world. I worry. I worry a lot. And I shouldn't worry so much. Here's why...
For starters, "there is nothing new under the sun." We were warned about materialism (and worrying about material things) by Solomon in his immortal words. He wrote that the world has been around for a very long time, and it will be around for an even longer time, and all that is here right now has been around for about 4.5 billion years. We are made from stars, after all. So why worry?
Jesus went one step further and said, "So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." He noticed that His followers kept fretting about too many things that took them away from the moment, from today. They worried about the Roman occupation, the persecution that would be coming their way for following Jesus, and they worried about their teacher not being the "revolutionary" they wanted Him to be. All that took them away from the mission at hand. If it's only going to get in the way, why worry?
Well, I worry because I'm human. Money is made from paper, but it gets an awful lot of things that I need. Homes can be washed away in a storm, but they still keep me pretty warm and comfortable the rest of the time. I am not as wise as Solomon or as eternal as Jesus. So it's hard for me to not give into my human emotions. It is very hard to not feel scared about my future, because my future may or may not include some pretty uncomfortable (maybe painful) things not only for myself but for the people that I love. In the end, as of this blog post, I am human.
Fear is just part of the human condition, but it needs to be controlled, lest it control me.
For starters, "there is nothing new under the sun." We were warned about materialism (and worrying about material things) by Solomon in his immortal words. He wrote that the world has been around for a very long time, and it will be around for an even longer time, and all that is here right now has been around for about 4.5 billion years. We are made from stars, after all. So why worry?
Jesus went one step further and said, "So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." He noticed that His followers kept fretting about too many things that took them away from the moment, from today. They worried about the Roman occupation, the persecution that would be coming their way for following Jesus, and they worried about their teacher not being the "revolutionary" they wanted Him to be. All that took them away from the mission at hand. If it's only going to get in the way, why worry?
Well, I worry because I'm human. Money is made from paper, but it gets an awful lot of things that I need. Homes can be washed away in a storm, but they still keep me pretty warm and comfortable the rest of the time. I am not as wise as Solomon or as eternal as Jesus. So it's hard for me to not give into my human emotions. It is very hard to not feel scared about my future, because my future may or may not include some pretty uncomfortable (maybe painful) things not only for myself but for the people that I love. In the end, as of this blog post, I am human.
Fear is just part of the human condition, but it needs to be controlled, lest it control me.
10.07.2008
No Solo Mile High Club
I heard on NPR this morning that Delta Airlines is looking for a way to block porn sites from its upcoming free WiFi service. This poses a couple of problems, one philosophical, one practical. Philosophically speaking, who is Delta Airlines to block internet access. Sure, they're the owners of the network, and their passengers will enjoy a privilege. But access to information is also a right. Far too many times, the same filters that block porn sites also block medical sites. Who knew "vagina" was not a bad word? Even news sites are blocked when they are reporting articles with some choice "key words".
But never mind that... There is the practical problem of the fact that there are plenty of "proxy" websites and services that allow you to see a porn site even on a blocked network. This technology exists, and it is widely available to everyone who has to live and/or work behind a network. Do you really think that all Chinese don't enjoy YouTube?
Am I advocating for a free and wide viewing of porn on domestic flights? Not at all. I am advocating for airlines to trust that the majority of adults will use their own best judgment and not watch porn in a public setting. Further, they should also trust this same majority to keep the minority in check. Yes, there will be incidents where someone refuses to put the porn away (or any other annoying web application). But they will be few and far apart, just like hijackings, or mischievous passengers.
But never mind that... There is the practical problem of the fact that there are plenty of "proxy" websites and services that allow you to see a porn site even on a blocked network. This technology exists, and it is widely available to everyone who has to live and/or work behind a network. Do you really think that all Chinese don't enjoy YouTube?
Am I advocating for a free and wide viewing of porn on domestic flights? Not at all. I am advocating for airlines to trust that the majority of adults will use their own best judgment and not watch porn in a public setting. Further, they should also trust this same majority to keep the minority in check. Yes, there will be incidents where someone refuses to put the porn away (or any other annoying web application). But they will be few and far apart, just like hijackings, or mischievous passengers.
10.06.2008
Why Evolution Doesn't Work (And Won't)
The Baltimore Sun has a small article today about a couple getting bit by a snake at Maryland's Renaissance Fair...
As long as we have heroes, sung and unsung, the herd will not be thinned. And that's okay with me... It's a form of job security.
"A couple were bitten by a snake at the Renaissance Festival inLeft to deal with these two idiots, evolutionary forces would have done their job. But we have an intrinsic sense to help people in distress (whether it's their own fault or not). We have first responders, paramedics, emergency medical technicians, and firemen to rush these two jackasses to the hospital. At the hospital, we have doctors, physician assistants, nurses, lab techs, and other personnel to save their lives. And then there are the scores of people who make sure that antivenom, if needed, is collected, processed, packed, shipped, and delivered to the hospital.
Crownsville yesterday, an Anne Arundel County fire official reported.
Division Chief Michael Cox said a woman in her 20s picked up the wild snake about 6 p.m. and was taunting her boyfriend with it when both of them were bitten. Cox said
the two were taken to Anne Arundel Medical Center with minor injuries.
He did not know what kind of snake had bitten the couple."
As long as we have heroes, sung and unsung, the herd will not be thinned. And that's okay with me... It's a form of job security.
10.03.2008
Uh-Oh, They're Everywhere
10.01.2008
As Straight as Talk Gets
A politician speaking to all sides on all things? Flip-flopping to get the votes? What? I'm shocked!
As Impromptu As It Gets
The professional cameras and posters and shirts just happened to be there...
Let's Join The Black Parade!
Baltimore County and the State of Maryland are having a parade in Towson and big party at Fort McHenry (where the original Star-Spangled Banner flew) to celebrate the accomplishments of the 2008 Olympians from Maryland. Chief among them, of course, will be Michael Phelps, winner of 8 gold medals during the games in China this summer. A big part of Towson will be closed down, and a bigger part of south Baltimore will be used for the party at the Fort.
I don't mean to be a party-pooper, but I hope that the Governor, City, and County officials all realize that Maryland is $400 million in the hole.
Talk radio, the newspaper, and even conversations in the office are all about the money not being brought in and what is going to be done about it. Taxes will be raised (again), slot machines will be authorized (but only in certain parts of Maryland, where lobbyists paid the most in money and favors to legislators), and some services will be cut (but not really). As State employees, some of us are worried. Although our jobs are deemed "recession-proof", and although I wouldn't have a hard time getting another job as a lab tech, an epidemiologist, or even a teacher, the lack of funding will probably mean an increase in health care insurance costs to us and no cost of living adjustment... At the very least.
But never mind all that. Let's go ahead and party like it's 1999 because we want it to be 1999, when the DOW and NASDAQ were in the stratosphere, President Clinton had Al-Qaeda in check, oil was around $30 a barrell, and I was getting it all the time in college. Let's spend thousands upon thousands on police, fire, and emergency services to keep everyone that goes to the parade AND the party safe. Let's not charge for parking for the whole day in Towson so EVERYONE can drive in and just burn up their cash in their car carburetors.
Let other people care (our children, namely) about the money we borrow to have all this fun. If it worked in 1999, it can work today, and tomorrow, and the day after...
(I didn't get it all the time in college, by the way.)
I don't mean to be a party-pooper, but I hope that the Governor, City, and County officials all realize that Maryland is $400 million in the hole.
Talk radio, the newspaper, and even conversations in the office are all about the money not being brought in and what is going to be done about it. Taxes will be raised (again), slot machines will be authorized (but only in certain parts of Maryland, where lobbyists paid the most in money and favors to legislators), and some services will be cut (but not really). As State employees, some of us are worried. Although our jobs are deemed "recession-proof", and although I wouldn't have a hard time getting another job as a lab tech, an epidemiologist, or even a teacher, the lack of funding will probably mean an increase in health care insurance costs to us and no cost of living adjustment... At the very least.
But never mind all that. Let's go ahead and party like it's 1999 because we want it to be 1999, when the DOW and NASDAQ were in the stratosphere, President Clinton had Al-Qaeda in check, oil was around $30 a barrell, and I was getting it all the time in college. Let's spend thousands upon thousands on police, fire, and emergency services to keep everyone that goes to the parade AND the party safe. Let's not charge for parking for the whole day in Towson so EVERYONE can drive in and just burn up their cash in their car carburetors.
Let other people care (our children, namely) about the money we borrow to have all this fun. If it worked in 1999, it can work today, and tomorrow, and the day after...
(I didn't get it all the time in college, by the way.)
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