I still remember clearly the first time I saw The Girl cry. She didn't cry because I hurt her. She didn't cry because anyone hurt her. She cried because she saw a sad movie. Her tears tore to the deepest part of my heart and made me want to cry along with her. She looked so sad, and my heart told me to protect her, to fight for her like a lion. Thing is, there wasn't anything there for me to fight against.
This episode in our relationship made me think of the times when I have felt sad after watching a movie. Only really good movies have this effect on me. But I still wonder what it is about a story that makes us feel sensitive towards those stories. Because I haven't felt that way after a movie or after a book... after a work of fiction. I cried like a baby after I read the story of the death of Ryan Shay. Ryan died of heart failure right in the middle of the US Olympic trials in November of 2007. His wife cuddled up next to him as he laid dead. I don't remember crying so much.
That story, and countless others that have struck me to the core remind me of something about myself. Ryan's death reminded me of my own mortality and how I could die out there on any given day while taking a light jog. Worst of all, I could leave The Girl alone in this crazy world. The last thing I would ever want is for her, or anyone, to see me on my deathbed.
And you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being sensitive and feeling something when my brain starts thinking too much. I have seen way too many people in my life walk through life being cold... And being miserable. Too many out there are bitter about life and what life means to them. They are afraid to feel... They are afraid to live.
There is no weakness in living. And I'm okay with that.
This episode in our relationship made me think of the times when I have felt sad after watching a movie. Only really good movies have this effect on me. But I still wonder what it is about a story that makes us feel sensitive towards those stories. Because I haven't felt that way after a movie or after a book... after a work of fiction. I cried like a baby after I read the story of the death of Ryan Shay. Ryan died of heart failure right in the middle of the US Olympic trials in November of 2007. His wife cuddled up next to him as he laid dead. I don't remember crying so much.
That story, and countless others that have struck me to the core remind me of something about myself. Ryan's death reminded me of my own mortality and how I could die out there on any given day while taking a light jog. Worst of all, I could leave The Girl alone in this crazy world. The last thing I would ever want is for her, or anyone, to see me on my deathbed.
And you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being sensitive and feeling something when my brain starts thinking too much. I have seen way too many people in my life walk through life being cold... And being miserable. Too many out there are bitter about life and what life means to them. They are afraid to feel... They are afraid to live.
There is no weakness in living. And I'm okay with that.
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