I'm not a bad person, really. Seriously, I'm not. I have not broken any law that would have me convicted to any jail time or caused damage to private property above $20. I've never cheated on my past girlfriends or my current fiancee. I've never been violent (on purpose) toward anyone. And I have always tried to respect my elders. This doesn't seem to matter much in this crazy world, though. The amount of good I do is only returned to me in little bits and pieces. And it always seems like someone of equal but evil character and caliber is always trying to mess with me.
Some of the earliest instances of bullying I can remember happened when I was in kindergarten. I forget the name of the kid, but he was a little bigger and a lot older than I was. You have to understand that I started kinder when I was 4 years old. (My birthday was in January, and Mom would not have me held back one year for that. Besides, I could read already.) I remember one teacher saying that Aaron... yes, I remember his name... I remember one teacher saying that he should have been in second grade already. In Mexico, you see, they really do hold you back. I knew kids in sixth grade who were in their mid teens! Anyway, Aaron one chased me all over the school while clapping two big rocks with his hands. He said that he was going to use them to crush my head. I went crying to my teacher, and he made fun of me for acting like a girl. His bullying would continue for a while. The last I heard of him was when I was in third grade and he was in first. He tried to shove me to the ground when we were playing on the playground, but I was a little smarter and better coordinated by then. I got away easily.
The bullies kept coming on all through school. In High School, the took the shape of the jerk whose father died, so he took it upon himself to spread the misery. There was also this one girl who was morbidly obese. She must have been a good 300 pounds... Lucy Huereca. (I'm telling you... be evil, and I'll remember you.) She had the biggest chip on her shoulder. Every guy that wouldn't date her was gay, and every girl that wouldn't bow down to her majesty was a "dike". There was also the youngest of the Magaña brothers. The chip on his shoulder was all about his older brothers being football stars and him being too slow to remember the plays. I really don't remember what his beef with me was.
And that has been the case all the time... I can't, for the life of me, explain why these people made it their job to tease and bother me. I never reacted violently toward them, so they never really had a deterrent. And I rarely told my mother about it, so she didn't deter anyone. Once I was an adult, my size was my deterrent, and it was also the motive for more flak. See, there were all these girls, pretty girls, who first saw my weight and then saw my heart, if ever. I'd bend over backwards to come to their rescue, but that wasn't enough. One of them, Priscilla, required that I not only look good but drive a good vehicle and make lots of money. The joke was on her, though. I hear she doesn't have that now, and I do.
Bitter? Maybe a little bit. I think I'm more confused by their actions toward me. Why did they have to do this? Why did they have to act that way? I get urges to be evil and mean, too, but I hold myself back (most of the time). And let's not use the excuse that their brain wasn't fully cooked. Mine wasn't, and I never bullied anyone or blamed them for my problems. It has never my intent to bother someone to the point of disturbing their sleeping patterns or make them not want to go home... ever.
As it turns out, The Girl's brother found it necessary to make fun of me today. But let me give you the full picture. He has recently started dating a girl who has a friend who is, by all accounts, morbidly obese. He told me that his girlfriend and her friend make fun of the girl for not "being aware" of her problem. This in light of the fact that The Girl's brother has an enormous self-image problem. So he must think that we all worry about how we look. Anyway, he was making fun of, who I can only think is his girlfriend's friend, saying that she reminds him of me... going out for a run and then coming back to eat "four sandwiches". Talk about memories rushing back into my head. He accentuated the comment by stating that he only made fun of my size because his sister wants me in shape for the wedding.
Well... If that's what she really wants, which I know she doesn't, she wouldn't be the one for me. But she is... So I know better. Someone is just projecting on me his insecurities. So I think someone should take out the branch stuck in his eye before he points out the speck in my eye.
Some of the earliest instances of bullying I can remember happened when I was in kindergarten. I forget the name of the kid, but he was a little bigger and a lot older than I was. You have to understand that I started kinder when I was 4 years old. (My birthday was in January, and Mom would not have me held back one year for that. Besides, I could read already.) I remember one teacher saying that Aaron... yes, I remember his name... I remember one teacher saying that he should have been in second grade already. In Mexico, you see, they really do hold you back. I knew kids in sixth grade who were in their mid teens! Anyway, Aaron one chased me all over the school while clapping two big rocks with his hands. He said that he was going to use them to crush my head. I went crying to my teacher, and he made fun of me for acting like a girl. His bullying would continue for a while. The last I heard of him was when I was in third grade and he was in first. He tried to shove me to the ground when we were playing on the playground, but I was a little smarter and better coordinated by then. I got away easily.
The bullies kept coming on all through school. In High School, the took the shape of the jerk whose father died, so he took it upon himself to spread the misery. There was also this one girl who was morbidly obese. She must have been a good 300 pounds... Lucy Huereca. (I'm telling you... be evil, and I'll remember you.) She had the biggest chip on her shoulder. Every guy that wouldn't date her was gay, and every girl that wouldn't bow down to her majesty was a "dike". There was also the youngest of the Magaña brothers. The chip on his shoulder was all about his older brothers being football stars and him being too slow to remember the plays. I really don't remember what his beef with me was.
And that has been the case all the time... I can't, for the life of me, explain why these people made it their job to tease and bother me. I never reacted violently toward them, so they never really had a deterrent. And I rarely told my mother about it, so she didn't deter anyone. Once I was an adult, my size was my deterrent, and it was also the motive for more flak. See, there were all these girls, pretty girls, who first saw my weight and then saw my heart, if ever. I'd bend over backwards to come to their rescue, but that wasn't enough. One of them, Priscilla, required that I not only look good but drive a good vehicle and make lots of money. The joke was on her, though. I hear she doesn't have that now, and I do.
Bitter? Maybe a little bit. I think I'm more confused by their actions toward me. Why did they have to do this? Why did they have to act that way? I get urges to be evil and mean, too, but I hold myself back (most of the time). And let's not use the excuse that their brain wasn't fully cooked. Mine wasn't, and I never bullied anyone or blamed them for my problems. It has never my intent to bother someone to the point of disturbing their sleeping patterns or make them not want to go home... ever.
As it turns out, The Girl's brother found it necessary to make fun of me today. But let me give you the full picture. He has recently started dating a girl who has a friend who is, by all accounts, morbidly obese. He told me that his girlfriend and her friend make fun of the girl for not "being aware" of her problem. This in light of the fact that The Girl's brother has an enormous self-image problem. So he must think that we all worry about how we look. Anyway, he was making fun of, who I can only think is his girlfriend's friend, saying that she reminds him of me... going out for a run and then coming back to eat "four sandwiches". Talk about memories rushing back into my head. He accentuated the comment by stating that he only made fun of my size because his sister wants me in shape for the wedding.
Well... If that's what she really wants, which I know she doesn't, she wouldn't be the one for me. But she is... So I know better. Someone is just projecting on me his insecurities. So I think someone should take out the branch stuck in his eye before he points out the speck in my eye.
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