Criminal Intent

One of my cousins was murdered on Saturday morning as he was heading home from a night out with friends. He was 22 years old, a student at the Technological Institute in Chihuahua. He wanted to be an electrical engineer, following in his Father's footsteps. Friday night, he went out with a group of friends. Late that night, early Saturday, they were on their way home when a couple, a young man and a young woman, approached the car. The young man pulled out a gun and demanded the car. My cousin refused. He was shot in the head twice and died at the scene.

The couple who perpetrated the crime were later arrested blocks from the scene as they tried to get rid of the gun and hide in a hotel. They were found to be drunk and high on marijuana. They were just trying to score a little money to get a little weed. Crying, they told the police that they didn't mean it. He was 23. She was 18. And this wasn't their first time in trouble with the law. More unsolved armed robberies are being placed on them.

Three lives were lost Saturday morning in a dark street in Chihuahua City.

Butterfly Boucher

The Girl and I went to Vienna, Virginia, to listen to Butterfly Boucher sing her new material. She's awesome!

Duality

I finally realized why I like "Smallville" as much as I do, even though the writing is bad and the acting is mediocre at best. I like it because thwart writers try to address some of the same issues that I try to sort out in my head. From relationships to fighting evil, the plot devices of the show have many times mirrored my hopes, fears, and worries.
The season finale dealt with the duality of mankind, another issue I continuously try to deal with in my own head. In the finale, Clark tries to save the human side to Doomsday without killing Doomsday. Green Arrow and other superheroes try to convince Clark that killing Doomsday is the best solution. But Clark, as per the Superman myths, will not kill anyone. (He's such a boyscout.) In the end, Clark succeeds in separating the man from the beast and then burying the beast for what we think will be forever. However, the human side to Doomsday, a persona named Davis Bloom, turns out to be a monster himself. He kills Jimmy Olson and almost kills Clark's best friend, Chloe. Discovering that humans have the ability to be monsters, and that it was his humanity that kept him from doing what needed to be done, Clark decides that he needs to embrace the hero within and let go of the human emotions he carries.
I've felt the same way on hundreds of times. I have felt stifled in my work and in my life by the continuous desire to be honest, loyal, truthful... Idealist. I remember getting bullied in middle school to no end because I turned in a bully who caused lots of damage to the science room in a prank. I got in trouble at work when I confessed to making a mistake, although I corrected it and no one got hurt. And there have been times when I wouldn't raise my fists to defend myself, looking like (and being branded as a wimp.
Had I let go of my human feelings of honesty, integrity, and compassion, things could have been different. I might have been the bully and not the wimp. My status among my peers would have been higher... All sorts of "good" things would have happened. But at what cost?
And that is surely what will be revealed in the next season of "Smallville". What will be the cost of Clark Kent doing "what needs to be done"? As for me, I'm not there, and I don't want to be there. I'd rather be human than something less... Or something more.

Running For A Lifetime

As I was running today (a very long 10K), I began comparing my running with my relationship with The Girl. Allow me to explain... Running takes a lot of effort and it is just as much physical as it is mental. Sometimes, many times, it is much more mental than physical. You have to learn to pace yourself. Run too fast, and you burn out. Jump into a relationship with your heart on your sleeve and all the cards on the table, and you've gone in too far too fast. It won't last.

Perhaps the biggest comparison is that running makes no use of negative thoughts. I've tried many times to think of something that made me mad to push myself further, and it hasn't worked. It doesn't matter how much someone has hurt me, I don't use that pain to make the pain of running go away. Pain compounds pain. It's not good. Instead, in running, like in my relationship with The Girl, I use only positive thoughts. I think about the wonderful, good things that will come from the time and the effort that I put into the task at hand. Rewards work better than punishments 2-to-1.

Finally, you have to make the effort to go the extra mile in running and in your relationships. Not only will you be stronger on the other side, but relationships, like marathons and shorter races, will seem easy and fun. You really have to train your heart in more than one way, if you think about it.

A Tall Order

A 45-oz mango margarita at Phillips' Seafood on the Inner Harbor... It was delicious.

Love in Times of Flu

The Girl has been extremely understanding as I've been very busy in the last couple of weeks. In case you've been living under a rock, we're in a flu pandemic situation at this point. No, thousands of people are not dying. We're lucky so far that this H1N1 "Swine" flu is not as pathogenic (capable of causing disease) as other bad flu viruses. But this is only the first wave. If history has taught us anything, we should not be complacent. Winter will come, and 4 strains of the flu will come with it.

I was at the office late in to the evenings most days, and I was stressed out at home all other days. The Girl noticed this. She saw how stressed I was. I was even more stressed because I couldn't go play soccer or go out for a run. Exercise is my antidepressant/mood stabilizer/illegal drug. It's what gets me feeling better about myself, particularly when I see myself on television.

Yes, I was on television. The Secretary of Health here at the State Health Department called a press conference to update the public on the Swine Flu situation. It was nerve wrecking, and I was more stressed than ever during it. The Girl noticed this and understood where I stood as I was grumpy all weekend. I should have been excited, but I was just grumpy. The lack of exercise did that to me.

Still, it was a good weekend, and The Girl was just as lovely as ever... Just as understanding as ever.

Of Being Sensitive

I still remember clearly the first time I saw The Girl cry. She didn't cry because I hurt her. She didn't cry because anyone hurt her. She cried because she saw a sad movie. Her tears tore to the deepest part of my heart and made me want to cry along with her. She looked so sad, and my heart told me to protect her, to fight for her like a lion. Thing is, there wasn't anything there for me to fight against.

This episode in our relationship made me think of the times when I have felt sad after watching a movie. Only really good movies have this effect on me. But I still wonder what it is about a story that makes us feel sensitive towards those stories. Because I haven't felt that way after a movie or after a book... after a work of fiction. I cried like a baby after I read the story of the death of Ryan Shay. Ryan died of heart failure right in the middle of the US Olympic trials in November of 2007. His wife cuddled up next to him as he laid dead. I don't remember crying so much.

That story, and countless others that have struck me to the core remind me of something about myself. Ryan's death reminded me of my own mortality and how I could die out there on any given day while taking a light jog. Worst of all, I could leave The Girl alone in this crazy world. The last thing I would ever want is for her, or anyone, to see me on my deathbed.

And you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being sensitive and feeling something when my brain starts thinking too much. I have seen way too many people in my life walk through life being cold... And being miserable. Too many out there are bitter about life and what life means to them. They are afraid to feel... They are afraid to live.

There is no weakness in living. And I'm okay with that.

The Doctor Is In

A member of our leadership is now being referred to as "doctor" by the media and on our own website. This person does not hold a doctoral degree. This person only holds a Master's degree. However, this person is the kind of person that is very comfortable making people believe that knowledge has been bestowed upon them.

I remember when the Baltimore Sun called me a doctor in one of their articles. I tripped over myself that whole day trying to correct the record. They did. They posted a correction the following day, stating that I was in fact not a doctor.

You see, I have a lot of respect for people who actually take it upon themselves to become doctors. I want to get my doctorate degree at some point as well. So I feel that shortcuts and, in this case, "power moves" really degrade the essence of what it is to be a doctor... what it is to commit yourself to years of study at some cost.

It frustrates me very much that I have to be "led" by that kind of person. Luckily, my true leaders are people who I really respect and admire. They are real doctors... real sources of knowledge... and wisdom.

Swine Flu Week One

Well, it's not really week one. It's week 4, depending on "WHO" you ask.

I've been very busy at work, so I have not had time to update either this blog or The Epi Times. I had an offer from Examiner.com to become their Public Health Examiner for Baltimore. I wanted to do it, but I figured that, if I didn't have time to update my own blogs, I would never have enough time to write for them.

So I'm going to keep plugging along... Perhaps I'll write something later. Perhaps.